So Close (Nell Inspired-The Finale 4/30)

If I ask you
“What are you thinking?”
What would you say to me?

That night when you were near
I wanted to stay in that beautiful place with you
You brushed my arm so gingerly

And with my heartbeat pounding
The guitar muttering, the voices floating
In my eyes, you were special

If I ask you
“What are you thinking?”
What would you say to me?

The sun’s light was falling across you
In a colorless shirt, and your skin was glowing
Were we meant to meet?

And with my lips stuttering
The cars passing, the people ignoring us
In this moment, you are perfect.

This poem was inspired by Nell’s song “Island”, a romantic song with beautiful imagery. Overall this was a wonderful month, and I hope that those who were following this blog liked the little insights into my daily life experiences/moods this month. Thank you to Cameron for getting me involved, and to everyone who commented and/or liked my posts both here and on Facebook. Please enjoy this final poem and go listen to Nell’s song, they are such a talented group: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sM_RfoFBKPk

I Hate the Christian Music Station

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I no longer
Care too much for the songs we sang,
(I don’t know when I stopped)
VBS was so very long ago and I was just a child

Who disillusioned me or was I?
Perhaps this mood is not natural for me,
But repetitive lyrics grate on my nerves
And I won’t hold hands or praise-and-worship

However, the sincere effort is somehow
Inspiring, compared to those frozen mouths
I guess, play your guitar, sir,
Maybe I’ll whisper the words which you cling to.

For 4/29, my thoughts on the sudden frustration I developed with the local CCM radio channel when I was about fifteen. I just stopped listening, and I still cringe sometimes (it is the last resort when no other channels are playing things worthy of listening to).

Wytheville

I will return to my ridge and mountain
Skylines at sunset, with

Mint chocolate ice cream and
Christopher’s green eyes,

The sound of his guitar plucked softly
Still echoes in my memory

Through the valleys and shadows of
My little hometown,

Sipping red wine by moonlight, I will laugh
With a dear Mommy so missed,

Enjoy your own adventures in some other place
As for me? I’m just staying home.

Speechless Wonder

Hide me in this giant house of cards
With people who smile and laugh
Like my early childhood church family
Reciting their convictions so well

Hide me in your welcoming words
With loving gestures and advice
Like unconditionally loving friends
Would reach out whenever they could

Hide me in the unacknowledged gamble
With myself and yourself and the world
Like lovers, with their story at the mercy
Of a writer’s pen, in speechless wonder.

New York, New York

The black pavement emanates warmth
As do your bright eyes at dawn, looking
Pensively at the world through a hotel window

Your lips form these small tired smiles,
Together, in the dirty summer air, we must
Map the maze of the towering skyscrapers

Windows sparkle like stranger’s stories,
Ride a train to eat chocolate ice cream,
Hold my hand as we sail past the statues

Then with the taste of green tea bingsoo
Lingering, mingling, with your pretty lips
Kiss me by the light of a setting July sun

Free banana uyu in hand, cheeks aflame,
Catch a bus to become lost in a sea of goers,
Get up early again to board the next plane,

Wash it down, crystal clear soju in a plastic cup,
Survey the familiar lights, so mesmerizing
The outcome is meaningless yet desirable, anyway.

Noise

What am I to you?
Your hurting eyes linger
A silent soul, a wandering ghost

Can you hear me?
Haunted with a promise
My lungs ache in breathlessness

Do you even know why?
You roam the cold hallways
Casting empty words on empty rooms

She is not here.
Close your hungry eyes
Block out the meaningless noises

Wordlessly pass on
Abandon this graveyard
Love must be found in the living.

The Distant Lights

Headlights glowing through the
Fabric silhouette of a white shirt, a single word

Burning giants are flying toward
The bricks of these old, familiar sidewalks

So you live where the lights are
With sights and smells of a small, busy city

True, it’s in your nature, I guess,
Can’t get away from other souls, can you?

I see your footsteps as they
Walk away from me, and the reluctance

And those fearful eyes that dart
Away from mine, away from the dark sky

The spring breeze is warm
What’s so interesting about red bricks?

Standing beneath a friendly moon
Scattered pieces of the far-off, shimmering galaxies

Just behold this glory, that’s all
I have ever dreamed of giving you, so for now

Enjoy the sunsets and cloudless nights,
And find a place to drive your car, to see these stars.

Charlottesville/Seoul

This city bus is such a nuisance
It’s never on time and it smells bad
I don’t care if it’s free, it’s absolutely terrible,
I’d pay the 800 won to Shinchon station
And this time I’ll not be late
To meet you, even if it’s thirty-two celsius
Your smile warms me up anyway,
From Gangnam Exit Number 7 are quiet mountains,
And despite my immaturity,
Compare your arm with mine and let me
Call you yellow, and I feel guilty
That I never kissed you, and never held you
When you were shivering in the cold
In the gray rain, in that striking black suit
While waiting for the bus
Frequent stops, no speed limit for the
Ahjusshi at the wheel, and your protective
Guidance of me, the little glances
and I never said so, but this was so beautiful.

Cameron convinced me to do this while we were in class this morning. I found her poem about Colorado inspiring. So I wrote about something which frustrates me about Charlottesville as compared to Seoul: the city bus.